.......the hurt we carry

How much of our 'Past' have we gone past and moved on from. The hurt we feel from the last breakup; still hurts, the loss; we can't piece together, the love; still burning bright.

Through our travels and experiences, we gather and face emotions. The way we handle one, just as important as the next. We never learn enough to waltz through phases like soulless beings, instead we pick up baggage and are sometimes unable to get rid of 'em. I've often said; 'emotions never really die'. We pass them up until we are able to deal with them or until we can no longer restrain ourselves.
Our soft-spots are still our soft-spots....may take a bigger ball to push us over but they're often always the same.
What made you smile still makes you smile one way or another.

In our search for a means to 'deal-with' certain emotions, we bury them and build over them. Seems simple enough, but they often grow into Oak trees that crumble our foundations and all we've built over that experience.
Crushes never die. We may lose the many extra heartbeats that the person gave you but you still always pass their name slowly on your phone, slow down when they pass or unconsciously smile. We're lost in the wonder of 'what-ifs'. Thing about this is that while we wonder what it would be like, it awakens it all afresh....and the cycle of like, hurt and forget continues.
Hurts from relationships often linger on after we've gotten over the person, but we still feel the pain they caused long after; not in its severity but in our silent gasps. We don't take just the lessons but also the pain as a reminder why not to go down whatever road led us to that hurting point. Pains of loss, worst of the all....i sure can tell you. The cycle of grief never works out how they say it does.

One place we often miss it is when, in an attempt to get over the pains we've faced, we try to fill up that space with other things. We replace a heartbreak with a new partner, crush with new crush, pains with things that'll help you pass the time.... As time goes on, at a time you least expect it, it all comes back to you...the seed of the hurt we carry becomes another phase we have to dealt with...again.

We find a way to blame ourselves for being hurt or feeling the pain we are facing; you cannot be anymore wrong! When its hardest, its often the best idea to forge and face things head on. When we're in a position to pick up the pieces, it gives you an opportunity to make a smarter and stronger start. Deal with your issues before they deal with you.