My reality scares me...
Its hard waking up in the same nightmare. I feel awake when I sleep, no dreams or wild imaginations, no pain, no sorrow; Sadly, I wake up into a reality that I wish was just a nightmare.
It hurts more than words describe. More painful than walking on hot coal; a pain so deep that it breaks me with each thought.
How do I get out of this nightmare? The pain still lingers, tear drop after tear-drop, sometimes it seems like it'd never end.
Can't help but wish it wasn't so. Can't ask why because in His sovereignty He plans for us to get us a life and works everything out for our good. So now, I just have to wait in submission to His will.

I hurt, I cry, tear drops in my eyes keep streaming down. Everyday the pain feels new.
If I had just one extra hug, one extra second, one extra word, I wouldn't let it end. Where do I start from, if everything that surrounds me brings memories alive and births a fresh kind of pain.
There's a need for me to be strong, to stand by the others who face the same pain that I do, the others that wake up into the same nightmare that has become our reality, our Painful Reality.
If wishes were horses, if all wishes came through, I would wish it all away.
Wish all my pain away,
Wish I would sleep and find it was all a dream,
I saw the pain,
I saw steadfastness,
I saw the struggle,
I saw a submission to faith,
and I saw that the Will of our Maker came to pass.
As I pace through the stages of Grief,
From Denial to Anger to Depression and final part of Acceptance, I find that the most hurtful and yet the longest stage is Depression.
The pain seems unending as time passes, it lingers on and on.
My Dear Father, My loving Dad.....
We can't help how much we all miss you.
Wishing it was all a dream that'd never be.
It's hard to piece together, its hard to think about and painful to accept.
We Love You beyond what words could ever explain.
Since it was in God's perfect will for you to leave us, we submit & hold fast to Him to give us the Peace, Comfort, Strength and Love that we all need to move ahead and continue in the legacies that you started.

Adieu Daddy! You mean more than the world to me.