the rush....

Meeting someone new does something to you, there’s some kind of in dwelling smile that you can’t really express. You stay jolly for at least a day. Especially when you think she blows your mind. One of those things that make us trip. When you make first contact and talking is fun, then comes the glow. We ooze of that childish guilt, when someone notices we try to deny to ourselves so we can try to manage our expectations. We want it so bad we don’t even want to consider the possibility that it doesn’t always play out how we plan, hope or expect and we get heartbroken.

Then comes the first date, you’re clouded in smiles you probably don’t even hear her speak. Then we start telling ourselves “I like this one” “that’s nice, we agree” or “i can make do with that”. We feel a rush each moment you’re with her. She’s constantly making u smile. Then you want to text, IM, call or tweet them, you want to share every moment that you experience with her. You unconsciously draft something sweet to say each time. You’d give anything to see her smile.

I start to wonder when she became an issue, **remember when you said you won’t let yourself fall like that, you said “I’ll calm down play my position” but now you’re in over your head without control.**
what do I do? where do I go from here? it gets worse because you start to be at a loss for words each time you see her...its absolutely breathtaking...

from the first date, you want to skip all the boring process involved....we want to bring the 'happy ever after' from the future to the now....we get all excited and loose our minds in our emotions...

Somehow the cycle of the heart is rather irregular, in that we don’t know when it’d see something it wants to connect to and hold on to. The pain of disconnection is there when we can’t make such connections and we end up disappointed. We feel everything that this heart throws itself to, whether it’s into the pain of a heartbreak or disappointment or into the comfort and joy found in love, friendships and sense of connection.


I'm #justthinking out loud